Phone Sex

Everyone has an idea of what a professional phone sex call is like. “Hi sexy, I’ve been waiting for you all night….” as the Visa bill is charged up at $2.99 per minute. What exactly is the cost/benefit of all that heavy breathing and visa authorizations?

Well, having been in the industry for 4 years, having participated in over 5,000 phone sex calls, I have an opinion. Read on if you are curious - I already know you think you have the answer. So did I, 4 years ago. I was wrong.

First, lets look at phone sex itself. This is the safest and most convenient kind of sex. It can last as long as you want, or be over in less than 2 minutes, no strings attached. Callers can remain anonymous, can explore fantasies they wouldn’t dare admit to, and confess anything to a sympathetic ear. They can ask for advice about personal situations. Callers can experiment with outlandish fetishes without committing to anything, or catching anything! I could go on and on, suffice it to say phone sex is easy, secretive, and has no real restrictions on what is ‘allowed’.

What about married men calling for phone sex on their way home from work, or during Thursday Ladies Night Outs? What about them? Are they cheating? No, Phone sex is not cheating. Phone sex is entertainment, and it is much better entertainment than TV or Porn - its interactive and alot more ‘effective’.

Are they perverted? They may be, but not because of the phone sex call. Millions of men are happy in their ‘vanilla’ relationships, loving and caring for their partners. Some of those men secretly crave some ’sexual spice’ but would never risk offending their partner with their desires. Some men are ashamed of their fantasies. Some just don’t know exactly what it is they are sexually looking for. There are deep rooted questions, “Am I gay?” “Is BDSM for me?” “Crossdressing?” These kinky fantasies just don’t go away, so the man either quietly keeps them bottled up inside,until he withdraws from the ‘vanilla’ relationship and seeks a spicy live partner. Or, on a safer note, calls up a phone sex service and in 15 minutes relieves the craving and gets back to his happy vanilla self.

Are phone sex callers looking for relationships with the phone sex women? No. The only kind of relationship they want is to find someone nice to listen to who can quickly get at the ‘itch’, who doesn’t rob them, and has a great imagination. Its about the same way women feel about a great hair stylist - someone who just knows what she wants, will style her hair beautifully, taking risks now and then, and not charge too much.

Is phone sex therapy? Yes. Think about it, there is a friendly ear paid to listen and encourage conversation, without any competing ‘issues’ to distract from the conversation. Women have girlfriends for support and listening. Men don’t have that same kind of luxury. During a phone sex call, many men talk through stressful events of the day. Sometimes they ask for feedback and opinions, sometimes they don’t. Besides the fact that ’sex’ is a great stress relief, the actual conversation relieves stress and refreshes the mind and body.

The conversations are what I believe wives are jealous of, and that is where the ‘cheating’ accusation comes in. Wives want their husbands to talk to them, not some stranger. Of course, that is what makes relationship strong and healthy. However, how many wives will LISTEN as well as a phone sex operator? How many women encourage their men to speak on ANY topic, wearing and doing anything he pleases, agreeing to play along with the fantasy, and not change the topic? I know that if more wives and girlfriends could actually do that, there would be alot less phone sex calls made.

Phone sex used to be something more of a paid service for adults. It wasn’t uncommon for a male teenager to engage in this activity by dialing a 1-900 number after looking through his father’s adult magazine while home alone. This was mainly an impersonal experience and usually the perceived voice was never who was advertised. We all know the cliche jokes on phone sex operators, no need to dig too deep on the subject. Simply, it was more impersonal and costly, but a threat was never there for either party other than a lashing from the father when he got a phone bill.

These days, there are no $3.00 a minute fees, phone sex is free. This activity also no longer belongs to those employed by a sex agency and some unwitting teenage boy, but is now being done by teenage girls, college women, professional women, bachelors, and married men.

What has changed more than who engages in the act of phone sex is the technology it is performed on. Modern day cell phones are acting more and more like personal computers and with camera phones capable of snapshots and video, phone sex is more interactive than ever before. Smartphones allow easier interaction with voice, Internet, video, and text.

What makes phone sex more dangerous than at any other time in the past is the fact that many of transmitted images can be stored and shared with others. The wrong images in the wrong hands can be giving fuel to predators, stalkers, and sex traffickers online, making this dangerous for females as well as males. If your image can be shared with others, then there is a chance your phone number and other personal information can be shared as well making you easy prey. You don’t need to have phone sex with a stranger for a stranger to have your private photos and videos, remember that.

To protect your teenagers from this threat, it may take more than just talking and trust. The only 100% way to make sure your teen is not transmitting x-rated photos of themselves is to not have text or Internet enabled with their cell phone service. Sounds harsh, and it won’t prevent your teen from engaging in this activity on the Internet at home, but then they are at least safe at home, right? Yes, your teenager can still use their phone and say lewd things, but minimizing the tools available to them that enables them to enrich the act with additional media is at least one measure towards protecting your child.

The act of text messaging over a cell phone for sexual purposes is an act now dubbed “SEXTING”. This method can include photo exchanging with image enabled text messaging phones, or phones with the service activated.

The threat with cell phones is that your teen can easily be away from home while engaging and even arranging sexual encounters over the phone. Mobility is the threat and can become much more dangerous when coupled with additional technology. A predator can now verify a victims appearance beforehand, use fake photos of himself to lure the child, and meet up without the child even knowing the truth of that persons age or demeanour.

The scariest statistic on sex predation is that the majority of the rapes that result from the practice of phone and Internet sex are teenage males. The majority of these crimes go unreported due to either humiliation or the fact that the child is exploring their sexuality. Parents tend to keep a more blind eye when it comes to teenage males believing that it is mainly females that fall victim to sexual predators.